I SURVIVED?

When I started this blog I was in the beginnings of a sprititual journey along a dangerous path . Sin, self-doubt and personal insecurities were my crutches. I've denied a ton of crap in my life but one thing that I have embraced now, with all my heart, is my total devotion to going from a place callled "HERE" to a place called "THERE".

My story is long and it may take some time, but I feel you will know it. Basically it boils down to ME, godless and alone. "HERE". Adfrift and mad. Using alcohol to be not only a crutch but a lover. I lost my mom and my fiance within 1 year. I thought I could cope. I was not a good person. I should have shown both more personal attention and love, less anger. It destroyed me when the glass ceilings fell.

I spiraled out of control. Emotionaly and financialy. All I can say is there was something - somewhere - GOD - that wanted me to survive. I tolerated life. I was not happy.

I grew accustomed to it. Then I was invited to participate in an Iron Chef competition at Breakthough. I was a little resistant but I like to cook. I agreed. I lost. Humilty is good.

Over the next few days I began to realize that the people that I had met at the competition were not religious zealots. I was raised Catholic - but upon my Mom's death, I was done with the "Church". I was afraid to trust and these people were friends who welcomed me.

Scared as hell, I went to Breakthough for service. I watched as the congregation sang praises and then I watched the young, spirit-filled preacher speak. His words I liked. I met more of the fellowship of Christians. I began to listen WHAT the preacher said. I began to question my life and the long cut-off relationship I had with the Lord. My whole life in chaos - I made a choice. I wanted to live a Christian lifestyle and accept Jesus as my Saviour. I regularly attend Breakthrough on Sundays. My transportation situation does not permit me to attend any other events unless someone helps me. GOD has provided in that area and I am truly happy.

Shortly after - I joined Breakthrough and entered into our sacred covenant with God and our community. I bought a BIBLE and was BAPTISED. I cannot tell you what a moving and transforming experience that was. Come check it out and see.

Today I write about something extroidinary. I AM a different man. I still am ME, but I CHOOSE to receive and LIVE what GOD directs me to do. In the Catholic Church - I quit listening a long time ago, especially to boring hymns and self-righteous bullshit. Now I SING - PRAISES TO THE LORD! The sleeper has awakened and I'm headed to place called "THERE"!

GOD is cool. We need change. The LORD knows before we do. Trust. I DO NOW!

September Sun - 9/11/01

Seven years. It seems just like yesterday. My day began just like any other. Got the kids off to school, kissed my girlfriend and settled in for a quiet morning since I had the day off.

Then terror gripped my mind and wouldn't let go. As I watched the countless fling themselves from the burning towers to their deaths, I cried. I drank tequelia. I prayed. Nothing helped.

As those horrible days stretched into months and now years, the pain has subsided. Our Nation has overcome its grief. We have forgiven - but it will never be forgotten. I still cry and I still drink tequelia.

Today. Look towards the sun. Remember all those who perished falling from the sky, the towers crumbling, the Pentagon and the bravest of souls on United 93. Remember the sacrifices of all of our honored brothers and sisters who gave their lives so that these horrendous acts will never occur again. Look towards the sun. In the light we will prevail.